I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize