there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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