Will you blow on my dice?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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