matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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