Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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