life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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