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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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