Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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