lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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