hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
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we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
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you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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