She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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