I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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