nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
why is half of my head shaved?
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