I wannas sexs uuuuu
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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