Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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