At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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