my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize