i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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