So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I wear drunk well.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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