Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She's the barista slut.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
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I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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