end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize