You can't special order awesome
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize