I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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