Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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