Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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