First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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