Buhtt sex?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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