I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
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You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
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Drake has all the answers
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize