I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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