I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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