How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize