I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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