I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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