Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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