Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Text me some of your sweat
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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