I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize