I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
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Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
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Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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