Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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