pop tarts are not kleenex
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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