Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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