Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize