How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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