For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
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She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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