you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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