God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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