i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
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I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
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those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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