I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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