Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize