Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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