Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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